Racket Rum Club - Honorary Member #11 - Rachel Glucina

    • Glucina

Rum Club members adorned in Hazchem suits presented Rachel Glucina with an honorary membership at a gala function at Racket this afternoon. The event was attended by one MediaWorks manager and paid actors depicting Glucina’s family and friends.

Health and safety regulations require fellow Rum Club members to refrain from making eye contact, standing downwind, or removing footwear in Glucina’s presence, and Racket cleaners will apply a scorched earth policy when dealing with glassware, cutlery and bar fixtures used by Glucina.

Rum Club members have also customised several bathroom peep-holes for Glucina, along with a full-length-mirror that reflects Jamie Ridge’s body from all angles.

Racket’s regular clientele of C-list television stars, reality show contestants and adult children of former politicians expressed their concern at an emergency meeting held at Racket last night, but Rum Club members were undeterred, given the genitalia, cellulite and next-door neighbours visible in Glucina’s supporting documents.

Rachel Glucina

Racket Rum Club Honorary Member #11

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